TrumpScript: Making Programming Great Again

trumpThere’s a New Programming Language Based on Donald Trump. Just like he is making America great again, TrumpScript will make programming great again.

To code in TrumpScript is to write in malformed sentences consisting of only pre-approved words (all other words are stripped out) and only a small subset of logical operators afforded in other programming languages. “True” or “false” are instead “fact” or “lie,” and error messages only criticize your code rather than help track down your bug.

For example, if you use a word that’s been banned, the error message will read:

  • “Trump doesn’t want to hear it”

Or if you use a word that’s not common English (e.g. not one of the 2,164 approved words):

  • “We have a country where to assimilate you have to speak English”

Some more “features” of TrumpScript:

  • No floating point numbers, only integers. America never does anything halfway.
  • All numbers must be strictly greater than 1 million. The small stuff is inconsequential to us.
  • There are no import statements allowed. All code has to be home-grown and American made.
  • In its raw form, TrumpScript is not compatible with Windows, because Trump isn’t the type of guy to believe in PC.
  • The language is completely case insensitive.

Top 10 Tweets After the Earthquake Today

10. MSNBC says the Washington monument is leaning to left. Fox news says its leaning to the right.
9. It will take more than an earthquake to really shake Washington DC up. Even God is trying.
8. Still shaking? Calm your nerves with deals at area restaurants and bars.
7. Earthquakes are caused by shifting tectonic plates, cups, and silverware.
6. Anyone else hear that S&P’s just downgraded it from a 5.8 to a 4.5?
5. Krugman says it wasn’t big enough.
4. Earthquake turns Gallup offices upside down. Obama now at 62% approval.
3. I will not stop shaking till Obama says all is okay and he has a plan.
2. It made Obama miss a putt.
1. It was Bush’s fault.

Apple is Richer than U.S.

“With news that the United States Treasury could default on Monday if the Democrats and Republicans in Washington, DC don’t compromise and raise the debt limit, it has been revealed that Apple — the manufacturer of the iPod and the iPad — has more money on hand than the United States Treasury. The US Treasury currently has a balance of just under $73.8 billion incash and securities, but when you compare that to Steve Jobs’ Apple, it has a 3% advantage on the US Government with $76.2 billion in cash and marketablesecurities on hand, according to June statements.”  (Reference)